Hello, its your favorite reporter, Mike, giving you the recap of the past few days.

New Detective Sergeant

Sugar was bored and she needed a man, a big strong man to take over after Lyss wasn't doing it for Sugar no more as the Detective Sergeant. So a few days ago, she held a session with Lush to make Flame the new big strong Detective Sergeant.





iOldCP or iOldRPG?

Damen held a poll to determine the future of ioldcp, then it was botted so he held a debate on its future, only for THAT to have resounding "REMOVE IT!!!!" So Damen was like SCREWWWWWW YA'LL and he planned a glorious update to turn ioldcp into a matchmaking combat game. Read more about it HERE!

SPONSORSHIP

This news report is sponsored by the Republic of Kazakhstan!



Kazakhstan can't be racist because it doesn't have a defined race. So if you're not racist, come to Kazakhstan and get salvation, racist.

Saturday CZ!

Gone with Friday Fortnite and Minecraft Monday, we only care here about Saturday S-Crimezone.

Today LordLaw came on down the North to pronounce a new law. This law states that Vaire has called dibs on Dead Man's Mountain, and anyone who steps on it will be dead.



So naturally, everyone was like SCREW THAT and trespassed on the land, leading to this cool picture, depicted here.



After a bit of battling on deadmans that resulted in some deaths, LordLaw, low on health decided to declare a trial at the Mountain.



Vaire comes and has a white man Lordlaw state that if Orbay doesn't bow to Vaire, he's gonna piss all over the Earth and pump CO2 into the atmosphere. (he also talks about lashing Sugar but like who cares).



Shortly after everyone got mad and started fighting, as shown here.



LordLaw got oofed, as depicted here. Kace promptly went over to his dead body and took a huge leak on it. He exclaimed as loud as he can, STAY DEAD, IDIOT.



Then Vaire's Lawyer came and spoke some weird russian, stating that Sugar is forgiven and Pythas must fall.



She also told everyone to come to the black forest, where a minor skirmish broke out with no real ending.



Amidst this, Randy got a splinter from the wooden bench at the mountain and proceeded to beat it senselessly with his lightsaber, while simultaneously accidentally killing one of our reporters. RIP.



That's the recap. Hope you're happy.