This is to everyone: mods, users, admins

As owner of the community, I want to fight toxicity.

This builds on the restorative approach, however it goes beyond that into something that is less reliant on US (mods/admins) and more reliant on you.

Toxicity is like a fire. It needs:

- Oxygen
- Heat
- Fuel

Oxygen is the platform its happening on. e.g. discord
Heat is the energy around you. e.g. a discord server filled with generally unkind people
Fuel is the offence itself e.g. e.g. trash talk, threats, bullying

Epic Graph

AVOID, AVOID, AVOID

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We'll take it in the reverse order.

Step 1) Remove fuel
Do not rise to it. Value: Treat others the way you wish to be treated.

Step 2) Remove heat
Remove yourself from risky environments where there are people who do not share your values on respect.

Step 3) Remove oxygen
This step is an extreme step and shouldn't need to be taken. However, if things are getting bad enough, some chose to leave the platforms all together.

Result: No fire.

However step 1 is the main step that we need to take. Step 2 is sometimes hard to do, especially if they are people from our games.

Therefore, there's three steps that if everyone took, there would be a lot less problems

1) https://dsghq.com/rules Values (treat one another the way we wish to be treated.)

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2) AVOID, AVOID, AVOID

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3) REPORT, REPORT, REPORT

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Mods and admins are here to promote the above.

However, we are also unfortunately here to handle things after they go out of control. i.e. people failed to treat others the way they wish to be treated

HOW TO REPORT REPORT REPORT

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Its up to you who you report things to.

Mods (Moderate problems)

Reporting to mods can be done by DM'ing mods on discord, mailing them on forums or opening a ticket https://dsghq.com/tickets

Admins (Serious problems)

Open a ticket https://dsghq.com/tickets

Damen (Very serious problems e.g. mod abuse, doxing, illegal images)

[email protected]
I suggest to add 'report' in the subject

Ending joke

RESPECT, AVOID, REPORT

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no toxicity allowed this is a wholesome community only

Love this, I agree we should try to eliminate or reduce toxicity within the community. Living for the “ending joke”, added a nice touch to this discussion. ?

For 5 years I've witnessed toxicity, I've witnessed people be bullied outrageously for how they act, for things out of their control. In the past I've been continuously aggravated just to get a reaction enough for punishment. I've witnessed staff participate in bullying or sit by and ignore when its their friends that do it.

I remember in 2015 when bullying meant you'd be banned.
But if one person appeared to be rude then people would use it against them and use their emotions to justify their actions. 'They were rude first so I shouldn't be punished!'
I remember when, in 2016, I made a post calling out the harassment of Mal. I got 20 dislikes, told to stay out of it and eventually the post was deleted. She was diagnosed with Aspergers, a neurodevelopment disability which affects the ability to interact and communicate with people. One of the symptoms? Aggressive behavior. People here decided she was lying when they didn't know the truth. She couldn't control herself and people used that to harass her.
I remember when, in 2017, I witnessed people begin to leave due to harassment. I remember when hatred began rising against others.
I remember when, in 2018, I was struggling with my emotions mentally and was violent. Rather than trying to calm me down, staff used my age was against me, talked about me behind my back, fought back at me. I vaguely remember a staff member calling me retarded. I remember, on December 4th, 2018, I was being bullied while all I did was sit there minding my own business. No mods stepped in. I took actions into my own hands rather than doing the logical thing and logging off. I never got a chance to explain what happened.
I remember when, in 2018, I attempted to report a staff member only to be told by an Administrator 'I cannot do anything as it was on discord. I'll give them a warning since they're my friend.' I'm pretty sure death threats don't deserve just warnings.
I remember when, in 2019, the game was dead. The game was dead and yet people found a way to be rude.
And now, in 2020, nearly 2021, rudeness can now be played off as jokes. Shock humor, as some say. And it makes me sad.

I was 8 years old when I joined this community and I was forced to grow up before I was ready because of my defense towards my friends. Because to the toxic people of this community, you become a target if you stand up for those you care about. And it's honestly really upsetting since this community is meant to be a place where people can come to in order to escape the horrors in their lives. And while some people have had the luxury of not witnessing the toxicity firsthand, others of us have not been so lucky. This post is well-worded and it's been needed for an extremely long time. Too many people have left from the toxicity others have shown them and that shouldn't happen. People should feel safe. They shouldn't feel the need to leave because of the disrespect of others.

im sorry LOOL i went off on a vent, i just have been waiting to say all this for so long

THIS IS VERY TRUE SIR *SALUTES*

greatest graph ive ever seen

Haloween1000 wrote on 23rd December 2020, 01:39 PM:

RAR lol

WinRAR

Damen wrote on 23rd December 2020, 11:57 AM:

RESPECT, AVOID, REPORT

LOVE ITTTTT

Remaining neutral or not even paying attention is the way to avoid drama.

May Allah guide you all.

I log onto forums for the first time in a while and this is a post where the title caught my attention and while I was reading this, all I could think of is the controversy... Here's why:

1. I use to be a Moderator in the community for 6+ years on and off and take this from me, and from whoever told you in the past regarding how poorly moderators are treated sometimes, the people who bring the toxicity in the community make it that much harder for the staff because they are victims as well. They will go through harrassment and bullying from those people because they try to solve a problem that could bring a better outcome, yet the opposite happens because it wasn't in the favour of the defendant (harrasser/toxic person). When this happens, usually Damen would "take matter on his own hands"... But does he really?

2. I don't know if this is considered leaking but I have nothing to lose at this point. The amount of times that the moderators have voted to ban someone from the community for toxicity reasons and it would get granted by the Head Moderator, only for it to be flipped from Damen is countless. Don't blame the moderators for not trying to take action on these people they try i swear. It's so frustrating too because once it gets flipped, everything goes back to square one and they look idiotic for something they tried to control, and once again they were ignored for trying to do the right thing.

So in conclusion, this post is promoting the wrong message and is so controversial. The moderators work hard to try to keep the game sane. Damen I've always thought of you as a friend and you're a good person, but you can't put the responsibility on the moderators and users for reporting toxicity and bullies, when they cry to you to help address the issue, and you can't have their back. So it really goes back to who has the final say.

Anyway Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Best Regards,

- Dancebear

DanceBear wrote on 24th December 2020, 09:53 AM:

I log onto forums for the first time in a while and this is a post where the title caught my attention and while I was reading this, all I could think of is the controversy... Here's why:
1. I use to be a Moderator in the community for 6+ years on and off and take this from me, and from whoever told you in the past regarding how poorly moderators are treated sometimes, the people who bring the toxicity in the community make it that much harder for the staff because they are victims as well. They will go through harrassment and bullying from those people because they try to solve a problem that could bring a better outcome, yet the opposite happens because it wasn't in the favour of the defendant (harrasser/toxic person). When this happens, usually Damen would "take matter on his own hands"... But does he really?
2. I don't know if this is considered leaking but I have nothing to lose at this point. The amount of times that the moderators have voted to ban someone from the community for toxicity reasons and it would get granted by the Head Moderator, only for it to be flipped from Damen is countless. Don't blame the moderators for not trying to take action on these people they try i swear. It's so frustrating too because once it gets flipped, everything goes back to square one and they look idiotic for something they tried to control, and once again they were ignored for trying to do the right thing.
So in conclusion, this post is promoting the wrong message and is so controversial. The moderators work hard to try to keep the game sane. Damen I've always thought of you as a friend and you're a good person, but you can't put the responsibility on the moderators and users for reporting toxicity and bullies, when they cry to you to help address the issue, and you can't have their back. So it really goes back to who has the final say.
Anyway Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Best Regards,
- Dancebear

Can you give an example of when I have done this? The way I dealt with things years ago is not how I deal with things now.

The explanation is probably that I didn't take enough time to investigate